Imagination Creation – The Journey

Rob Daniel and John Arnott staying at Pete's place in Erskinville, affectionately known as Tracy Island

For the past two years we have been touring schools around Australia, New Zealand and Europe, presenting the ‘Imagination Creation’ show to thousands of young people and teaching staff.

This blog will jump around a little describing how we got to where we’re at now, until we set off again to the UK on October 8th, and there I’ll be letting you n ow what happens each day. We’ll include all the breakthroughs, breakdowns, miracles, fun and games of touring and photo’s from each day.

The Imagination Creation show came out of a commitment to make education fun, and to make a profound difference in the lives of young people. Two years of laughter, tremendous fun, extraordinary teachers and children who have touched, moved and inspired us in ways we never dreamed.

We use mind warm-ups to stretch the brain and create belly laughs for over 20 minutes, and then move into cartooning and creative writing ideas and children suddenly find they can do things they always thought were beyond them. However these are just the tools we use to get at what we’re really up to, and that is to instill a love and a passion for life in young people.

Knowing the secret of a life you love is not enough. We can be told the secret again and again but it often takes real courage and drive to reach out and grab it for ourselves. The secret is simple, and I’ll state it many times during this adventure I’d like to share with everyone.

The secret? Find what it is you love in life – and do it. If you don’t know, go out and discover it, try different things and don’t ever, ever listen to anyone who tells you you cant, or you’re not good enough. We demonstrate how much we have learned even before we leave school and use this as evidence for ANYTHING being possible in our lives.

But you’ll need to come and see the show to see how this works. This blog is about the journey we’re on, the places we visit and people we meet along the way.

www.chocmint.com

Paula, my extraordinary wife who manages these tours when we’re away, said last year that as inspiring as the journey would be, there were going to be children who would just break our hearts. I’d also like to share some of these stories as well.

I am fortunate and privileged to tour with two great friends and multi-talented people I have known since I opened and ran the Albany Backpackers with my then wife Janet in 1990. Dave McCleery from Ireland and John Arnott. a Geordie living in Edinburgh, tour with me at different times and we have already shared great adventures and moments together. I will feature much of their work as well and provide a workshop online for children and adults who love to write, cartoon and seriously want to find their passion in life.

We have just come back from a six week tour of Sydney after a tour of WA. About 80 shows all lasting an hour and a half each, with between 120 – 300 young people at each show. The age range goes from kindy – year 2, year 3 – 5 and from 6 – 7. Sometimes all grouped together, other times separated. We present a lot in high schools as well up to 18 years of age and at educators conferences too.

John gets a bit of magic in after the show

On October 10th we have shows in Oxford and these are to be filmed and a DVD created. From there we go and present in Edinburgh and from there, we haven’t a clue! Shows are being booked and negotiated all over the UK so we’ll simply go where we’re booked. I’m taking the warm shorts as well because in my dim memory of living in the UK – it’s FREEZING in October and November!

SEVEN SISTERS PRIMARY SCHOOL, London: When you’re meant to do something, the Universe goes out of its way to find a way. We got into this school for the day after I joined a website to buy an English football team, Ebbsfleet United. It cost 35 pounds for a share in running the club and I thought, that’s a bargain. Within a few weeks I’d been contacted by a teacher at Seven Sisters Primary in North London who’d seen my profile and asked if I’d be willing to come over and perform three shows.

Dave was in the UK at the time so I joined him there within three weeks of her e mail. Dee Coppen turned welcomed us with open arms and we had the most extraordinary day.

Seven Sisters is a rough area of London. In saying that, the children, who were from over 50 different countries around the world and many of them had come as refugees to Britain, were some of the friendliest, most talented kids we’ve met, and although many had been through way more than anyone should ever endure, they were inspiring to work with. Within seconds we were all in hysterics from the beginning of the first show and it just went from there.

Dave performed with me at Seven Sisters but John came down from Scotland to see us both and he was curious what we were up to. He watched the show, took photo’s and was immediately hooked and couldn’t believe what happened in the room during the show. John had a difficult time when he was at school in Newcastle, north of England. He got into lots of fights and managed to get beaten up by both teachers AND the head master at primary school so his experience of school wasn’t a happy one.

One of the beatings he experienced at the hands of a sadistic headmaster came after he refused to eat the school dinner that had been slopped down in front of him, so it was great watching his reaction when Dee said after the show, “Come on, let’s get you a school dinner each!”

English school canteens have changed a bit since we were at school and we stuffed ourselves with one of the best curries we’ve ever had. And THAT is a big call, because I loved the curries we made at the Yak Bar in Albany several years ago and so did John, but at Seven Sisters, we were hooked to curry all over again.

We were surrounded by hundreds of kids clamoring for autographs and making mad grabs for us to sit down at their table. We were whisked off to Dee’s room to stuff our faces before the afternoon’s shenanigans started.

Performing and presenting to the magic young people at Seven Sisters

Dave McCleery, Dee Coppen, Rob Daniel at Seven Sisters

BACKGROUND: The last year especially has been extraordinary, exciting and towards the end, very sad as well. Life gives and takes away and the seemingly indiscriminate way it does this can leave us bewildered and lost. Life does kick us, and a vital part of what we’re doing is asking people to find what it is they love, and be relentless in doing it. What would it be like if every time you get up in the morning you cannot wait to go and do what you do each day.

Life can hurt, but if we’re doing something we really love then we have a better chance of getting through these hard times than if we’re spending our lives doing something we hate or, at best, put up with each day.

A few highlights from the last year include a mesmeric two month journey through New Zealand from north to far south, with dozens of schools, thousands of children and the incredible beauty of nature. Live volcano’s, hit springs, eagles following us down country roads, mussels and oysters from little vans by the sea and performing to a Maori school 20 km’s from ‘Mount Doom.’ But New Zealand isn’t the bright shiny place we’re led to believe it is, with graffiti splattered over every beauty spot in the north island and a drug alcohol culture so embedded it’s hard to see how young people will find their way out.

Then you go around a corner and over a bridge and get this:

Hard to believe anywhere can be that blue. Methven, New Zealand

Two big tours of NSW and weeks spent navigating around schools in Sydney. Having lived in Albany for 23 years, moved here for three months in 1985 and stayed, I thought I’d settled into country life, but in the last few years here I became quite frustrated. Albany, as lovely as it is, stays the same and is almost TOO safe. The world is an exciting place and I’d spent seven years traveling around it. Then in Sydney I found I love the city, the life, the diversity and THE FOOD! It’s all about the food, and I think I could spend six months simply going from restaurant to cafe along King Street in Newtown and never get bored.

After shows we are generally starving and can eat three meals one after another, plus deserts and coffee and ice-cream! Newtown, near Erskinville, is a wonderful place to do just that. It was also here I tasted my best ever curry last month, and the best Lebanese meal as well. I’ll add places to eat around the world here as well and due to a liking for local wines wherever we go, a bit of a wine list as well.

Sydney surprised me. Darling Harbour at weekends is just the best and with special prices so low to fly there and back it’s cheaper than flying from Albany – Perth for the weekend! We performed over 60 shows there and over the next weeks I’ll be posting little anecdotes and pictures, but here’s something people generally forget or misunderstand. We presented in what are regarded as some of the finest private schools in the country, with a price tag per student at the school to match. And we presented in some of what are called the ‘roughest’ public schools in the country too. The cliche that ‘kids are kids everywhere’ fits, but it’s more than that.

I ask who loves writing and art in all age groups. In all schools the percentages are the same. A tiny group from Kindy to year 12 put their hands up to say they love writing, a much larger group for art. When I ask who hates writing nearly all the hands go up in every age group, and a few go up for art. BUT, when I ask who doesn’t think they’re good at writing (and art) whether they like it or not, nearly every hand goes up, every time. In small schools, large schools, exclusive private schools and the most downtrodden public schools.

What’s going on? For children to learn they must be having fun. Take the fun out of education and children wont learn. How can they? I hear many people say that learning cant always be fun that sometimes you just have to do with whether you like it or not. I’ve thought about that a lot, even spent a while believing it, but no more. There are ways to enjoy all kinds of learning, whether you like the subject or not, and these methods need to be shared. I have also discovered that teachers are the most generous, inspiring people you’ll find anywhere. Of course not all teachers, like schools, are created equal, but those who do it because they love it deserve not only all the kudos that’s given to them but should be at the high end of the payment scale when it comes to paying them.

More about that later. Whether you pay 50,000 dollars a year for your child’s education or nothing, they probably wont believe they’re good at writing, perhaps the most fundamental thing we learn to do at school. We have 200 children all with their heads down in stone silence for five minutes writing and not wanting to stop, something that happens in every one of our shows.

Take away the fear of getting it wrong, of looking silly, of looking bad, and you remove 95% of the problems associated with children not wanting to learn.

When you cant do something one minute, then five minutes later you can, what else have you decided you cant do that you may have to re-look at? Students show off their work and cant quite believe what they've just done.

SPAIN: We’re heading to Spain for a tour of International Schools along the Mediterranean Coast during April 2009. Having asked one school whether they’d like a visit through e mail, i followed this up by visiting the school several months later and introducing myself!

It turned out the school is part of a chain of schools and could we do them all? Sometimes when you’re having a conversation with someone who is being completely reasonable and you want what they are suggesting very badly, it’s hard not to bite their hand off with excitement. This was the case here and suddenly we have a very big tour coming up next year. This is huge and we’re very excited about it. Great kids, schools and teachers, paella by the bucket load, tapas and good cheap wine in between jumping into the Med every few hours. Surely this isn’t work …

Between shows we get a chance to explore, and Morella, a medieval town surrounded by a wall and turrets, is one place we have to go back to in Spain. Ancient church filled with gold, Knights Templar, a castle so high your ears pop as you climb up to it and we met a German motorcyclist taking a year off to travel the Mediterranean on his bike, sending articles and photo’s back to editors around the world giving them stories about where he is,w hat he’s doing and what he gets to eat and drink.

If you love writing and taking photo’s there has been no better time to get a lap top, a camera and just take off. Around your area, the state, country, region or anywhere you’ve always wanted to go and get paid for doing so!

With all the photo’s we took, I’ll post this one first. Hanging off a weed next to a gateway where 600 hundred years ago a small army were massacred by an invading force, a wasp!

Captured with a macro lens in the medieval castle at Morella, Spain

View of parts of Morella from the lower part of the castle

Performing in International Schools of course there is no language barrier. The startling thing is the ease with which children in these schools all speak a minimum of two languages, and most of them speak many more. It reinforces just how little we expect from children in Australian, New Zealand, English and American schools that we don’t bring new languages into school as soon as children start. After all, they are in the middle of learning a language already, another one or two right from the start would be easy to learn. This is how it’s done elsewhere in the world.

In a few weeks time we are working towards getting to Latvia, where we have been invited to go and work with children in at least two orphanages. We really want to make this happen and when we do, they have English speakers there who will translate whatever we say into the local language. Sometimes we work with children who are hearing impaired, and on a couple of occasions a translator has been used and she has worked by by side, using sign language for everything I say. Every time I see someone do this I promise myself to learn sign language, but it hasn’t happened yet.

John Arnott has spent many months in Albany at different times over the last 18 years. He left his creative mark at Albany Backpackers and various businesses and homes around the region, including the cartoon and sign writing at the laundry on Lower Stirling Terrace. For a good look at what John does with his art visit his website: www.jtarnott.co.uk

Over the past two months we have been offered possible tours in so many places it’s hard to stay calm and relaxed about it all. At the same time there are just three tours confirmed so we are open to anything and everything that comes along. Emphasis will always be where we believe we can have most impact, so the chance of touring in places like Dubai, America, Japan and China are enormous for us.

We have an agent in Sydney who books us on tours within Australia and New Zealand, but for tours further afield we rely on word of mouth and making contact with schools ourselves, using the www.chocmint.com website and also our www.chocmintmanagement.com where we have a small group of talented, inspiring presenters who are out to make the same kind of difference we are.

We are always looking for people who are inspired to do this kind of presenting in schools and are willing to travel anywhere. If you are one of these people and would like to know more, go to our webpage and get in touch using our contact details.

Contemplating the show ahead on a cold morning in the north of England

Within a couple of hours of landing in London I was standing at St Pancras Station, just across the road from Kings Cross Station. I had a few hours to wait for a train to Newcastle so decided to have a look around the station I spent so much time coming to and leaving from over 25 years ago.

I hadn’t been back to England since 1992 and that had only been for a few days. Before that it had been 1985! Looking down over all the London landmarks brought it all back to me. It was going to be bloody cold down there!

Royal Brunei flight landing in London. Great service, cheap flights, good food, interesting stop-overs!

Instead of the big draughty station I remembered, I found myself in a big, draughty affluent station, with the Eurostar train service now operating the whole place had gone up market. In the middle of the platforms I found a champagne bar and sitting around in temperatures around freezing there were dozens of Eurostar passengers guzzling bottles of champagne worth up to $4,000 each.

Usually when drinking fine champagne it’s more comfortable finding the most salubrious surroundings possible and ensuring that everything except the champagne itself is warm and cosy. This place was freezing and an icy wind whipped through the tables, but everyone sat around as though they were sitting at the Ritz.

Not in the market for such rich pickings I went to the Kings Cross pub instead and decided that although it was England I hadn’t slept for two days and it wasn’t time for a warm pint of lager just yet, so opted for a cup of tea. I thought that tea was something the English would never stuff up.

The Polish staff at the pub poured some warm water into a shallow cup, tipped sugar and milk into the cup and poked a tea back into it before charging me five dollars for the privilege.

England has changed, but the countryside hasn’t. It still has that fresh earthy smell about it and the grass is an unrealistic green, especially compared to what we’re used to in Australia. Hurtling through the countryside at speeds only aircraft used to travel at when I was last there much of it was a blur, but in those blurry moments there were little villages with ancient church spires poking out, stone cottages and quaint pubs. Nothing seemed to have changed at all.

It was February and I’d left both Albany and Perth in a warm glow if sunshine. In England people were walking around in temperatures not much above freezing but the two weeks I stayed there it didn’t rain once, the sun shone every day and I didn’t see a cloud. People I met there were walking around in T shirts and light jumpers and talked about winter heatwaves and how it couldn’t last and how it must be due to global warming.

On the way to Newcastle through the train window

I had two pairs of pants on, four jumpers, a heavy duty jacket and two beanies and couldn’t stop shivering. I have become completely acclimatised to Australia and don’t do cold anymore.

This short trip to Newcastle and Edinburgh came before our shows at Seven Sisters and it was time well spent with John Arnott, who showed me around where he’d been hanging out for the last 24 years and re-introduced me to real fish and chips along the northern coast, with several exploratory jaunts out into the frozen waste they were all calling ‘a second summer.’

Back to London again for the show and I went to have another look at St Pancras Station, and the enormous statue they’ve had built inside the entrance. The first version of this stature apparently included the same people, but they were engrossed in a tonsil tickling kiss goodbye that the ‘committee’ decided was a bit too raunchy for the locals. So they replaced it with this one and I stood there for 20 minutes being handed cameras by American and Japanese visitors wanting to have their picture taken with it. I only got this shot without me in it.

Arriving at Seven Sisters Primary School was a special moment. I’d gone around the world for three shows at this school and although I had loads of other things to do, these shows were special. We knew they worked well all over Australia and New Zealand, but they were untried in England, and if there was any lingering self-doubt this is where it would show itself. Self-doubt can creep in at any time but I’ve learned how to deal with it and see it for what it is. As usual it was all in my head because these shows caused a sensation and the spin-offs from that day are still happening.

Dave McCleery and myself outside Seven Sisters Primary. Albany - London is a long way to go for three shows, but it was worth every second.

Dave and John feel terrible having to say no to drawing a picture when asked, but one picture means another, and another, and there were over 600 children at the school. Five minutes per picture ....

Dave and John have their audience mesmerised while drawing, and pass their skills across effortlessly. Here Dave is getting into a story I've been creating with a group of 10 - 12 year olds at Seven Sisters

Leaving people you love, for whatever reason, is hard enough. So soon after touring Sydney for six weeks this was even harder. The ‘I don’t wanna go’ thing was happening for me big time this morning!

Max was really sad to see me go this morning ....

Caught the bus up this morning, in fact in the bus now, from Albany – Perth for a flight tomorrow morning to London. Most rational people would not fly all the way around the world, away from a loving family at the start of springtime in Australia, with little money in their pocket to perform three free shows in freezing England and with no return ticket.

There are many ‘possibilities’ and unconfirmed paid bookings, but nothing else guaranteed, except one show in Birmingham. If this was all about making money then I clearly wouldn’t be doing this, but it’s not. There are kids we’re meant to do these shows for there because this trip is the trip that had to happen, because everything we did and everyone we spoke to, all seemed to pint in doing this. There are possible shows in borstals, prisons for young male offenders aged 15 – 18, girl’s prisons and a variety of private and non private schools across Britain. But nothing confirmed!

But the press are excited, because there are newspaper and radio interviews booked, possible television as well and the shows are being filmed in order to create a dvd. This is exciting, and really it’s all about creating shows for 2009 and beyond, so if it means having to find a restaurant to wash up in and save the money to get back, so be it. I don’t think that’ll be the case though.

Paula and I bought a laptop last year; invested in one. Actually it’s not my laptop at all, but Paula’s, so she can get through her degree with as little pain as possible and doesn’t have to resort to using an old desktop. However because these trips are quite dependent on having a laptop and because I need to use some freelance journalist skills in order to make some money as well, Paula donates the laptop to me as well. I clearly get, that without her this just wouldn’t happen. For all the difference John and I are going to make on this tour and the impact these shows will have on young people in the UK, without Paula, nothing happens.

It always brings it home to me how important two people working and BEING together are in a relationship. We see so many people who resent their partners or have deep rooted ill-feeling towards each other from some perceived past mistakes or disagreements. There’s no room in life for that crap and we rarely get to realise this unless our perspective is jolted back by ‘reality’. We are very lucky.

I am also aware of how lucky I am to have to teenage children the way they are. Both are completely supportive of what I’m doing and totally up for big stuff in their lives. Life IS exciting, and they get it, and I am so happy and relieved about that.

Sitting on a bus for six hours isn’t usually a chore. I quite like it usually. Right now though there is a two year old behind my seat who got on the bus in Kojonup. She’s with her mum, a nice lady I think, and very patient. This little girl isn’t well, and is coughing a lot which wouldn’t be a big problem if she was coughing down by the side of the window all over me. Sweet child ) Still, it’s not the coughing that’s ‘getting in’, but the occasion al ear splitting scream she comes out with when something doesn’t quite go the way she wants it to. The last one burst my left eardrum and popped an eyeball and was so unexpected the man in front of me threw himself out of the Emergency Exit without opening it first. We’re stopping in Arthur River now and I’m going to get some treatment. What can you do for burst eardrums in Arthur River? There’s a sign outside the service station that reads ‘Abuse Free.’ That’ll be nice. I wonder if they can take it as well.

Sign at service station in Authur River - where service matters

Watching and listening to people deal with tricky situations is both fun and educational. The obvious answer to a grumpy toddler is getting them to sleep, but even attempting this on a full bus is fraught with hidden dangers.

“Come on, time to go to sleep now sweeties” as the bus grinds off down the road again.
“No.”
“Come on darling, have a nice sleep and you’ll wake up nice and fresh in Perth.” (Lot’s of ‘nice’ going on here.)
“No.”
“Look, Teddy wants to sleep, look, see, he’s yawning.”
“No he isn’t!”
“Please sweetheart, go bye byes and you’ll (I’ll) feel much better.”
“NO.”
Getting intentional now. “Give Teddy goodnight, you’re going to sleep RIGHT NOW.”
“NO”
“Yes you are!”
“NO I’M NOT.”
“GO TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Aside to passenger behind her who is showing signs of having a panic attack while clawing his way through the roof. “She’s been up since six, I was sure she was going to sleep on the bus.”
This is greeted with a cheese grater smile and a series of jerky nods.
“GO TO BLOODY SLEEP CHILD.”
“NO I BLOODY WONT.”
Smack – or rather, attempted smack that caught the edge of the armrest and may have broken mum’s right index finger. She’s not at all happy now.
“GO TO RUDDY SLEEP FOR GODS SAKE.”
“No!” and the finally victory, with breath fully drawn in and a quick look to make she has her mum’s full attention, a downpour of unrelenting, grief stricken tears. Sobs wrack the bus as the driver clings onto the wheel and fights to stay on the road, his vehicle thrown about as the toddler six inches behind my head throws a fit and a tantrum all at the same time and forgets all about breathing in.
Coughs wrack the bus now as toddler and mother frantically grapple with each other for attention.

I enjoy bus trips. No, really, I do. This one is unusual and now my head hurts. It strikes me as ironic that I’m going around the world to work with children, to make a difference, but with the one critical child I’d like to make a difference to at the moment, I have no access to. I cant really go, “Excuse me, let me soothe this child so the remaining passengers on the bus don’t have to be carried of to an asylum in Perth. Mothers don’t respond well to strange men offering to take their baby daughter off their hands during bus trips. Or maybe they do. I’m not sure it’s wise to find out, even though I do have my ‘working with children’ security check card in my pocket.

It’s at time like these, coming down from a seething fit of rage that small children practice their singing. There’s a chance I’ll be buying this girls DVD’s in less than 20 years time but if that happens, there needs to be some vocal improvement. She has discovered that after screaming the vocal chords are so warmed up that the notes she found it so hard to reach yesterday are a doddle today and she can go well beyond anything she dreamed possible.

In between breaths. “You’re so tired aren’t you darling.”
“No.”
Sigh.
There’s a second movie on the bus, but due to the vagaries of this particular bus service only the screen at the front of the bus works. The other screens are glowing bright blue or are turned off because they don’t come on at all. It’s common on London Underground trains that no one speaks to anyone, but the same is true on these Albany to Perth coaches as well. The only one speaking is the cute toddler behind me. Perhaps she’s speaking for everyone because she has more to say than a full house at the MCG.
“I wish she would go to sleep.”

The thing is, I know she WILL be asleep about five minutes out form Perth and nothing her poor mum is able to do will wake her up again until she’s good and ready. Little kids are like that. It’s what they do.

Staying with a friend in Perth tonight and flying with Royal Brunei tomorrow morning. The flight is ‘dry’ meaning they don’t serve any alcohol on the plane and until an hour ago I thought that was a good idea. Now I’m not sure. They do allow passengers to take alcohol onboard, but you have to be careful because if you disembark with it in Brunei, at Banda Seri Begewan, there is a nasty scene as security guards drag you away and beat you for bringing wine onto Brunei soil. To be fair, they do warn you loud and clear and in several different languages so there’s no excuse. The last time I took a bottle of nice WA red with me but didn’t have any on the first leg of the journey to Brunei, which meant I had the opportunity to tip the pleasant English pilot with a bottle of wine for his trouble. Probably the first tip he’d ever had.

It beats me why people still insist on trying to smuggle drugs in and out of these countries. The introduction of entertainment screens on the abck of every seat, which I have to say is a brilliant idea, means that no one can ever be left doubting the intention of customs officers in these countries.
‘IF YOU SMUGGLE DRUGS – YOU WILL DIE.” I don’t see the ambiguity in that. Seems plain enough to me and if I had accidentally or stupidly swallowed half a dozen condoms filled with white powder I certainly wouldn’t be siting on board a plane waiting to get caught. Anyone who does this DESERVES to get caught, I mean, what are they thinking when they try to take drugs in and out of anywhere, let alone Asia? The fact they’re doing at all means they are mind bogglingly stupid, so stupid in fact that there should be a defense in them being so stupid and therefore not responsible for their actions.

After 68 hours without sleep I arrived at Perth Airport a few months ago with a concealed mandarin. I’d forgotten Brunei had set me up with one to ‘save for later’ about seven hour before but the very understanding man at customs took one look at me and let me off the fine, realising smuggling mandarins into Perth wasn’t high on my priorities at that time. However he rightly castigated me for my mistake and said I wouldn’t be so lucky next time, while typing my name in the data base for future customs officers to notice as it would surely come up in big red letters.

But drugs? Come on! I’d deserve to be locked up and if I was somewhere where they shot people for this then OK, shot as well!

Unless of course it had been planted on me. That would truly be a sod of thing to happen because who, except your nearest and dearest, is going to believe you? I lock my bags up now, for all the good that does. When Customs want to check your baggage and you’re not there, they simply slip a knife into the zip and slide your bags open, zipping them up again when they’re finished rummaging. They could put anything in and take anything out and we naturally have to put a lot of trust in them for doing things like that.

Airports now have turned into places of entertainment, with a lady last year down to her underwear trying to prove she didn’t have a bazooka stuffed down her knickers. Little old ladies have their handbags stripped and their comb removed because ‘It’s sharp and has metal bits in it.’ An elderly Welshman had a new Colgate tube of toothpaste confiscated on a flight I was on earlier this year, because it could be used as an incendiary device and how did they know it didn’t have explosives concealed inside.
“Because …” exploded the Welshman in his finest, crispy clear, sing- song English, “Because young man, I bought it in your bloody shop inside the airport and it even has a bloody duty free stamp on it.”

He was still grumbling while putting his clothes back on after being strip searched at gun point behind the screen next to the X-ray machine. Most airlines now have a policy of providing plastic knives, forks and spoons to curtail any passenger cutlery uprising, while still using real glass for their wine glasses. If you happen to travel First Class, then the cutlery is all metal, which must mean that any thinking terrorist would think ‘damn the cost’ and book First Class in order to have a better chance of taking over the aircraft at fork point.

Anyway, I have all that stuff to look forward tomorrow and I know for sure that there are HEAPS of surprises like that waiting for me tomorrow. I’ll even take photo’s!

I’m noticing too, as thousands have done before me in both directions, that coming form Albany and moving towards Perth is like moving towards the light. The sun is out, it’s warm and people are smiling. This morning in Albany it was overcast, beginning to rain and people were grumpy. Going to Albany it’s about Kojonup or more usually Mount Barker you see the clouds looming on the horizon after enjoying several hours of uninterrupted sunshine. I know it’s the location of our beautiful town that does it, and the weather comes from the south west, and all that, but come on, every time!?

And it’s gone quite. Not far from Perth now and the cute little girl behind me has fallen fast asleep. Her mum shakes her head in disbelief. ‘Ahhhhhh.’ )

Expect the Unexpected. This is what we have embedded in our heads before, during and after every tour. This evening I am at puppy training with my friend Ali and her two lovely daughters. This I didn’t expect, and I am not usually a fan of little dogs, but THIS bundle of fluff (the puppy, not Ali) is gorgeous!

Big as a hand, with the heart of a lion

Leaving Australia

Planes, Blessings and Bandar seri Begawan: Royal Brunei are a top little airline. I say little because they have small felt of aircraft and the airport is tiny too, but it’s all pretty impressive as the company is merely the hobby of the Sultan. Australia is such a massive area; it takes hours just to reach the north western coast.

Great food, good company, friendly staff, wet paint

Coming in to land at Bandar seri Begawan, Brunei

Rivers and rainforest in Borneo and Brunei

In keeping with, you have no idea of who you’re going to meet or what’s going to happen, I just spent a great five and a half hour flight plus another three hours chatting with and hanging out with Dave, a 34 year old bloke from Perth who works in the mines at Newman. He has a big property in south Australia and has a dream to become self-sufficient there. He’s on his way to Vietnam for a two week holiday, by himself because his mate who arranged it also didn’t order his passport in time and had to cancel. Trips like this are good when you meet someone to chat with like that. You rarely hear from them again but who knows, with e-mail and Facebook it’s so much easier and to met and stay in contact with anyone.

Have to say, Dubai International Airport is pretty bloody impressive, especially at midnight. Not only is it huge, but it looks like a departure point for Intergalactic travellers with every Nation on earth and beyond represented. I’m trying to hack into the system like I did last time but it’s not letting me. I’ll have to send this e mail from Oxford after all I think. It’s 4.25am according to the laptop and half past midnight according to the clocks in Dubai. I’m losing time here. That means it would be a good idea to sleep on the next leg huh.

Food onboard first flight was superb, second leg, the longest on a much bigger plane, was ‘orrible! I may be sending a strongly worded email to the Sultan about it. There was a warmed up spam roll with mayonnaise at just before midnight that defied description and went under the dubious description of, “would you like some light refreshment sir?”

We have to come to these places for a visit, they look amazing, and I am up for coming to some Dubai International schools on the way back to Australia. It’s another world. Brunei is only tiny but gets 95% of its wealth from oil. They are so happy about this they pass the benefits onto their population, who all get free education, free medical services and pay NO personal tax.

Brunei, this looks like a great place to live for a while!

Changing planes in Brunei we’re on something bigger now and 20 minutes into the flight the cute Asian lady in the seat in front of me attempted to kill me. I leaned forward for a moment to write down an idea I’d just had on a notebook, which was the exact time she decided to push her little button and tilt her chair back. However she was more assertive with it than most of would be. Mindful of the person behind I always ease the chair back slowly, but not the Asian assassin. She seemed to sense exactly where my head was and slammed it into my head. Not sure what had happened I fell forwards instead of backwards, which was a pity because she, feeling that a blockage had stopped her chair from getting into a comfortable position, pushed the button and again and threw herself backwards into the chair instead.

That did the trick. She poleaxed me out of the way and I shot back in my own seat clutching two bruises and gently pushed my seat back to avoid further contact, only to be asked by the nice huge man behind me to please not do that otherwise he’d be wedged in and wouldn’t be able to get back.

Two seats to myself though, in which to nurse my wounds and watch the world go by and I have no idea why people become so blasé at being able to do that. For thousands of years we dreamed of flying and now that we can, we close out eyes to the amazing world that flows past our window. It’s night time now, dark in the cabin with people strewn about their either sleeping, reading or watching movies, but outside as far as I can se there are glowing oilfields, hundreds of them all lit up miles below. It’s such a huge world and there’s so much to see.

I am totally confused now about the tight airport security surrounding tiny objects that could at worst give someone a nasty prick, while Royal Brunei on their bigger planes serve dinner and supply knives as well as forks and spoons, sharpened and made from stainless steel. And all the airlines are different, just as all airport security is have different ideas about what’s safe and what isn’t. A small tube of Colgate toothpaste is regarded as potentially lethal in Brunei while the same toothpaste if discovered in Dubai is waved away as merely being – toothpaste – and of no consequence. Some airports demand shoes are removed by everyone before going through security while others look at people bemused if they see them taking their shoes off before coming through. There are no standard security features around the world and a friend of mine always travels with two pen knives in his pocket, just to prove a point I think, and he’s yet to be pulled up for carrying them. At the same time he’s had toothpaste, hair gel, deodorant and even a half bottle of Evian water confiscated at various security checks accompanied with a stern warning not to do it again.

With STEEL cutlery somewhere over Germany

We’re about five hours out from London and the pilot, unusual because it’s usually the head steward, has promised us breakfast two hours before we land at Heathrow. I had high hopes for the food on the second and third leg of this journey, having been with the airline before and having enjoyed dinner on the light aircraft we flew from Perth in on the first leg. However food so far has been dodgy at best. A warm prawn cocktail was a worry, and the midnight snack they gave us before landing in Dubai was just scary. They gave us coffee or tea, and as most were waking up they just took for granted that any food that went with it must be healthy and OK. A warmed up bun with what looked and tasted like spam in the middle, with lashings of warm smooth yellow pus poured all over it.

Feeling queasy we al had to leave the plane in Dubai and go for a walk. We’re told to come back to the same plane at the same gate, 108, but are herded along half a km of walkways and shopping malls to a guard who points us right towards another baggage check to check the baggage we just took off the same aircraft we just left. We get through that, then walk back downstairs and back towards Gate 108 to board again. It’s probably very good for us, this forced exercise and Dubai is definitely somewhere I want to go back and explore, but we could have just got of the plane and sat in the same transit area now had to wait in.

I remember reading the safety statistics of flying, possibly not something I should be thinking about 36,000 feet above Iran, and remember thinking what an incredibly safe mode of travel it was. Again, perhaps tempting fate talking about it right now. But it is safe, and with the millions of people travelling by air very little goes wrong. It’s just when it does, the impact is huge. It got me thinking too about the safety record enjoyed by Qantas who, although they’ve had a run lately of ‘incidents’, don’t deserve to be destroyed by the Australian press. They’re doing a good job of trying to put their own national carrier out of business in the way they report such things. There are maintenance issues that need to be dealt with, and Qantas hasn’t been the same quality airline it was before British Airways bought them out, but they have a phenomenal record still and superb pilots and crew. If you have to fall 8,000 feet in 10 seconds I cant think of a better airline to do it with.

It’s 10am Australian time. 3am UK time, which means we have another three and a half hours to go. Then tomorrow morning, two shows at a secondary school in Oxford followed by possibly one show for a local primary school in the afternoon. Very excited about these now. It’s the reason I’m where I am doing what I’m doing. I had a chat with that Dave in Brunei and we worked out how silly it was to build such routine and ‘normality’ in children’s lives when the reality is, life is all about constant change and our ability or not to deal with that change. And many don’t, and fall by the wayside or become mentally ill or worse, sometimes kill themselves. It seemed to us, sitting drinking a pint of coffee each on the balcony café called The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf, that children need to have constant change thrown at them from an early age in order to have a better chance of dealing with the big life changes that lie in wait for them later in life.

We try so hard to be in control of our lives but whenever it seems we are, the goal posts are seriously shifted. I think that’s why I like to stay one step ahead, and change things for myself before they are changed for me. Keeps the Universe on it’s toes. I know life is going to change, so changing it myself gives the illusion of putting myself back in control. It’s this kind of mixed up, confused logic that has me flying over the Middle East right now, looking forward to a Brunei breakfast in an hours time. The crew though are so friendly and very happy to deliver anything you ask of them with a smile, except the alcohol of course. This is a good thing. I know form being much younger the fin that can be had getting free drinks for the duration of a long haul flight. Older and not able to take that anymore, having the temptation of a nice bottle of wine with dinner or cold beer when the air con temporarily packs up taken away is definitely a plus. Drinking at altitude is one of those poor choices we make that makes most of feel crap for days afterwards. I don’t know the science of it, but having no alcohol on this flight is great.

Maybe on the way back, or maybe not. One of the collection of very friendly staff just asked if I wanted a drink again and went off to fetch me another mango juice. Life’s Good.

In Brunei too we got to talking about the difference in mentality when it comes to the service industry. We concluded, and Paula has talked about this with me lots of times before, that in Albany especially, and Australia in general, working in hospitality isn’t a career option anymore, and is just a job people do between jobs or if they cant get anything else. The staff who served us coffee and muffins in Brunei were happy, attentive, glad to be there and fun to talk with. Often staff in Australia practically throw stuff at you with barely a grunt. Generally. There are some lovely people working in Albany in the hospitality industry, but they are not the norm. Having coffee that isn’t burnt is good too, and having a staff member go into her own tips cup to take out the little bit of change to add to the bit of Brunei money we had between us to make up the difference – it’s going that extra mile. I may go back that way just to leave a tip!

For anyone looking for a cheaper way to get to Europe, or Asia for that matter, and haven’t flown Brunei before, give them a go. This is not a ‘cheap’ airline as they don’t skimp on quality at all, but because the Sultan owns the airport and the fleet and is very proud of his country, Royal Brunei are a pleasure to travel with and are usually hundreds of dollars cheaper than most other airlines. And the global route they choose to travel, is just spectacular!

The last e-mail I go before leaving, from Martin in Oxford who I am yet to meet but is organising the shows for us here, said we may well have a show in a school for children with autism. We have worked with children with autism before, but then these children had been integrated with the mainstream population of kids. The impact we had on the children was massive, and the staff who work with them report the transformation in their way of being after the show was long lasting and permanent. Many children who were closed off in all ways before now interact with others and draw, write, tell stories in ways they haven’t before. However we are not experts in this, and the show wont change at all because we’re going with the adage that, kids are kids, wherever they are and whatever is happening in their lives. Having a whole school with this extremely complex and little understood condition is going to be a real challenge and is very exciting too. I was told once we should always be involved in something BIGGER than we are, up for things that are so big and out of our comfort zone that they leave us confronted and challenged. This is one of those moments. I hope the jetlag isn’t too over the top this time. It usually isn’t, not going ‘back’ in time, but still …. I do need to be awake!

From 1992 to 2007 I didn’t go on a plane and other than a brilliant road trip to Adelaide to see U2 in late 2006 I haven’t been further than Perth and once to Esperance. In less than a year there have been three trips to NSW, one to New Zealand this is the third trip to Europe. My head is spinning, and as much as I hate leaving my family behind I recognise how lucky I am to be doing this, doing what I love doing and travelling at the same time, which is and always has been one of my biggest passions. Right up there with mangos. The intention is to set up tours throughout Europe and the rest of the world from now on, and come back to Australia for a tour once or twice a year as well.

Albany is such a beautiful place and it has given me some of the very best of what life has to offer. At the same time it has been a frustrating place as well, because for every one step forward the town makes there seemed to be a minority of powerful people who drag it ten places backwards. When we started the Backpackers in late 1989 the town was buzzing, the town centre restaurants were busy and the Venice stayed open often past 2am. Paul Terry came to town and built the Esplanade and the whole place, for a few years, had a real vibrancy about it. I remember writing a Sporting Chance article in the local press years ago, concerned about who the town centre would die the death if big shopping centres opened out of town, and not only is this happening but the town in its wisdom chose to move the Town Hall out of town as well.

Albany has everything for other coastal towns around the world to be envious of, but it’s not used, not developed, not maximised. The foreshore has been a wasteland for as long as I’ve been there, and I arrived in 1985. Even now with the development going ahead the vocal minority is still there, complaining and whinging and whining and trying to prevent something that ahs been promised to Albany since, believe it or not, the early 1900’s. That was a time, incidentally (and no, I don’t remember it) when the town cinema at the bottom of York street would often get an audience of 2000 people to watch the latest movie. The population wasn’t more than 8000, yet in 2008 the young population of Albany still have to rely on mum or dad or a taxi to take them to our cinema, several km’s out of town. I don’t understand how Albany has gone the way it has, nor do I understand why people didn’t stand up and make a hell of a lot of noise when the Esplanade Hotel owners made it clear they were going to knock the place down.

Middleton Beach and York Street, leading to the harbour in which the first white settlers in Western Australia, two places of natural beauty and iconic locations but still, any kind of movement towards fun and enjoying the kind of lifestyle these places can provide, is stilted. Go anywhere in the world with far lesser credentials you will find street artists, fabulous restaurants at every price range, people, people, people out enjoying their surroundings, little wine bars, cafes, craft shops, bustling, friendly, happy … and you cant blame the weather. They have this in Switzerland in the middle of winter for heavens sake!

But this isn’t a whinge, it really isn’t. Just thoughts coming out because it’s impossible to sleep at the moment because my body clock has it coming up to 11am and yes, I am excited about what’s coming up over the next few days or weeks, months and even years. When you do nothing- nothing happens – and I think Albany has suffered from that for many years. Yet there are always people in Albany who make things happen, who make a stand, put their money and talent up and create magic in the town. I hope this continues and I hope more and more of these people come to Albany and eventually outweigh those whose purpose in life it seems to be to prevent the town from moving forward.

And for those who don’t yet know, Albany is one of the most expensive places in Australia. In Sydney you’ll get a great coffee served to you by someone with a happy smiling face who wants to know all about you however busy they are and are equally willing to share, for about $2.80. I bought two small burnt coffees from one popular café in Albany last week and it cost me $9.80.

I have a friend who paid just over half a million dollars for a town house in Erskinville, three stops from Circular Quay, two years ago. Three stories, three bedrooms, cosy, gorgeous, beautiful tree lined narrow street in an old, exclusive part of Sydney. Check out house prices?

Restaurants in Albany are charging prices three times what they would in Sydney, but it’s not their fault. Try looking for a business to rent in town and you’ll find the rentals are staggeringly high. Every few months I see the same shop fronts up for lease again and again and again, having watched so many enthusiastic business owners either go broke or give trying to keep up. Albany just doesn’t have the population to sustain the prices we charge, and our tourist ‘season’ is laughably short. But it is so frustrating seeing it go like this, because Albany has many vibrant, go ahead people with brilliant ideas and vision. They get the stuffing knocked out of them eventually though and move on – which is I guess something we’re doing now as well.

I like going to beaches in countries where food and service is a joy, where I can buy a bottle of superb table wine at a café for $2.00 and drink it with plate fulls of freshly caught local seafood that wont cost much more than the wine. I like the fact that families eat and play together late in summer, where children’s peddle cars and beach trampolines don’t open until nine at night and stay open and busy until 2am. Where siestas have the effect of creating two days in one and the mutual time, respect and love given to and received by children is the countries number one priority.

I want to know why Australia has the highest per capita youth suicide rate in the world just behind Japan, and why this figure is ignored and suicide isn’t even reported unless it has some celebrity angle. I cant fix it. I can however go around schools and make a difference that way, by doing what I can and know to instill a love of living in young people and in that way perhaps prevent one kid from shattering their and so many lives. Just one, and all this is worth it.

I do jump on my soap box sometimes and have opinions you’ll either agree or disagree with and both are fine. Especially when not sleeping after 20 hours flying. My mum used to accuse me of getting verbal diarrhea. But what’s missing in our lives is ENTHUSIASM for this amazing life we’re living. There’s a little girl of about five or six sitting opposite me now, as the sun is just beginning to come up on the horizon but the earth below is dark. She’s looking out of the window in astonishment, squealing with excitement at what she’s seeing. The world curving, the colours from the sun, lights far below and outlines of snow clad mountains. She’s pulling her dad’s arm, jolting him awake and shouting “Look, look, LOOK, you’ve GOT TO look, you’re missing all of it.”

That is who we all are. That young girl is inside all of us, screaming to get out again and get what she’s getting and it’s only a heart beat away for everyone, that love of living and doing what we love doing, it’s just a case of having the courage to go for whatever it is we really want in life, and giving everything we have for the people we love and care for.

Paula said before I left, “People only want what they want because they don’t believe they can have what they REALLY want.”

She gave an example. “ People say they want an amicable divorce and they will happily settle for that; but what they really want is a happy marriage.”

The little girl opposite is going frantic now as London lights up below and we’re heading straight at the city.

Blurry at 6am on a London morning

Let’s see what these kids in Oxford want tomorrow, and let’s see if they’re willing to go and get it!

Landed! London is SUNNY and so is Didcot and Newbury. All that doom and gloom about the weather – it’s lovely!
Green hills, misty woods, little country lanes, tiny old churches and old pubs as old as the churches. Back in in England again it feels very strange. Martin is an amazing bloke and has all kinds of possible shows lined up plus some definite’s, starting tomorrow. Might sleep before then though …

Just heard, we have a story in today’s main Birmingham newspaper … will post link here when I find it!

Getting up in the mornings for shows is always fun and exciting, cant wait to get into it. For this one I felt as though I’d been hit by a truck, with every muscle and joint aching. I couldn’t believe it, though there were no other flu symptoms. It feels like a result of the long flight and something about Royal Brunei. I always feel like this after flying with them, even though the rest of the experience is fine. Apparently they recycle their air to save on fuel, at least that’s been suggested to me. Perhaps my body hasn’t had enough oxygen, or perhaps my body is still reacting to the warm pus roll and spam they fed us at midnight ‘for snack.’ No, I’m still not over that.

Being around an English school again with all these accents is great fun, and the year 7’s at the school were fun, funny and loved the shows so much. They didn’t have a clue what to expect though. We arrived in Newbury at Parkhouse School and Sports College on a sunny morning (what is it with October in England and still warm?), and were greeted by the reception staff who were friendly and cracking jokes. However the security now in English schools is very tight, with electronically secure fire strength doors and the feeling that no one gets into these schools without permission.

Parkhouse School and Sports College, Newbury

Derek the Principal, has the reputation of a dynamic headmaster who is completely up for his charges getting the very best education available. He lives up to this reputation and we were greeted with fresh coffee and a chat in his office. Setting up for the shows we met the headmaster of an excellent primary school across the road who’d come to see the show for himself.

The shows themselves are very physical, on my part anyway, and I tend to throw myself around a lot in the warm ups, acting out the myriad of ideas kids come up with. We had to move the chairs out of the hall first so I didn’t have my customary stretch, so the first 20 minutes were interesting because there were several muscles that hadn’t been moved like this for over a month and there are bits of me that are out of kilter now that weren’t before! Both were wonderful in regards to reaction from the year 7’s and staff, and we were rapt with how they went, even though we felt a little rusty. Plus for some reason my voice went part way through both shows and I was searching for it throughout.

Usually shows seem to fly past but these two felt long, because my body felt like it was locked and for John because his shoulder is frozen and he can barely lift a pen. No one noticed, and we have been promised another show at the school with the year 12’s, a booking for this time next year too and the primary headmaster has gone away to create some funding to get us in either while we’re here this year or for 2009.

Martin, my new agent in the UK and friend, is up for getting us in everywhere and the last few days have been a blur of bookings and meetings with people who can create bookings for us. One of the shows the school filmed too, so this DVD is going back to Paula to edit and see if we can create a promo out of it.

Usually after shows I eat three meals and deserts and I’m still hungry. Today it was just bed and try and sleep. Eating makes me feel sick, that’s not normal for me.

I tried though. On Sunday we went out for a Sunday roast at one of those thatched English country pubs with the low oak beams and real ale. Paula makes a better roast but still it was delicious and had that authentic English flavour to it. Must be the gravy. And we watched as tall waiters were bent double weaving in and out of the tables trying not to brain themselves on the oak beams. They must get permanent back damage doing that all day, and only have to forget for a second and knock themselves out. A customer came up to pay, turned and poleaxed himself on a beam only to receive and grin of ‘never mind’ from the waitress. It’s strange in a country that is so anal about safety and being a nanny state that they allow people to knock themselves out on a regular basis and risk brain injury in these pubs, while doing things like banning playgrounds in many areas just in case children fall off the equipment and hurt themselves.

A roast naturally, with an ale, apple pie and treacle pudding, in an old thattched pub outside Didcot

The walk afterwards is one of those sublime English moments you cant get anywhere else. Down by the canal, with a barge on the river, men fishing, sunny day, green grass and fields covered in hay bales with children diving on and off and a leisurely stroll to walk off a roast, apple pie, treacle pudding and custard and a pint of real ale.

Peaceful canal living in Oxfordshire

We went into Newbury again a couple of days later to explore and pick up the DVD from the school, and I decided to do a few things I had been vaguely missing since being in Australia. I bought a pastie, then another for later from an award winning pastie company, a quaint shop in an equally quaint street. Both turned out to be disgusting. So I bought a Scotch egg instead, took one bite of that and spat it out. I must have been spoiled by the quality of food we get in Australia because. And it’s expensive too, but the ducks were happy and I got to spend quality time with them tossing bits of pastie and Scotch egg at them. They humoured me for a while before also deciding this was inedible and swam off to a family across the little canal in search of some good old fashioned bread.

I had one last attempt at eating local fare and bought myself the famous (in these parts) Newbury sausage. This was very good and better than every sausage I’ve ever had in Australia, but one flavoursome sausage is not enough to pack all my bags and come back to England to live.

Net day we caught a train down to London. Trains and their prices here are beyond belief. Pay in advance, for example, for a three hour trip from Didcot to South Wales and you can pay as little as 15 pounds ($30). Pay as you need to go however and you pay around 100 pounds (about $200). So as a visitor you have to be very careful! We wondered around Oxford Street and found the Apple Store, where I needed to go in and ask some advice about the laptop. This was on Monday. They said they could get me into an appointment on Thursday at the earliest, so it would mean another 20 pound return and then leaving the laptop there for a few days and coming back again next week. I’m going to be in Birmingham next week!

Left that, too hard. We caught up with Dee Coppen the lady at Seven Sisters Primary School who got us in there at the beginning of this year and spent a lovely hour plus chatting to her and sharing ideas, before running the gauntlet of Seven Sisters Road again to egt back to the Underground.
This snail is our landmark and points us in the right direction to get to the school. Disappointed I didn’t get into see any of the kids there again, it would have been fun. The kids here have such a positive slant on life and are always up for a laugh.

And now I’m siting in a waiting lounge room with a piano and warm comfy lounge chairs waiting for the screams to come out of the other room where a man is threatening to treat John’s shoulder. I think it’s photo time! John has booked in for three days of treatment which means three trips back to Oxford, which I already like very much. I was hoping to get in there with the video camera and record the screams but instead I’m sitting out here catching up on the last few days. Probably for the best, because cruel, gratuitous violence isn’t something I want to promote on this blog and besides, John IS a friend and I shouldn’t be rejoicing in his discomfort and pain so much. Still, he’d do the same for me.

Dave has e-mailed me and has a show coming up in Macclesfield; I am really happy for him that this has happened and although I could have done the show with him, which I would love to do, I cant because it’s the same day we have a show in Birmingham. 100 schools apparently went into a hat and WE were raffled! I’ve never been raffled before. This means that on 23rd October Dave John and myself will be presenting and performing in schools in England, at the same time. This is a special day!

Other schools look like coming up then too, and afterwards I get to go back to Kettering where I was brought up to catch up with my brother and his wife, who I haven’t seen since 1992, and hopefully my mate Andy who I haven’t seen since then either. I’m wondering if I can get in to my old primary school as well, Highfield Road, and do a show.

It depends on how many shows we get over the next two or three weeks as to whether I get to Wales or not. Being Welsh there is a big pull to go back to my home town of Llanelli, but not sure if it will be this trip or not yet. Also I need to get down to Spain again for a visit to mum’s place and a booking with a huge plate of Paella at JJ’s!